Well I put them back up...on my personal blog (see previous post).
I got to thinking....what was I ashamed of? I didn't name names, I didn't personally attack, I didn't bring up ancient history....I explained from my point of view just what she had done to me in this situation (see all of the above:) and wrote about how painful it was. I wrote the truth....my truth to be sure, but my experience as I saw it. And isn't that what a blog is all about? She wouldn't talk to me or even listen to me....so I took to the Internet to tell my side of the story. I have always been, and remain, willing to sit down and work this out with my SIL. But if that is to happen all parties must be willing to hear the other side of the story. If she wants to attack us with things that supposedly happened 7 years ago, I may not be able to summon the anger that she can but I don't have amnesia. I remember what she did, how she treated us....just because we have refrained from ANY kind of attack and are committed to sticking to the issue at hand does not mean we have forgotten her bad behavior. We had forgiven, we had moved on, but deep down we remained wary....and as it turns out we had good reason to be.
My blog is MY blog, it's for my story, my personal discovery, and hopefully it's a place where I will learn and grow by expressing myself. I had hoped that this particular story would end with compassion, resolution and maybe a few tears. I had hoped that it would end happy....but my gut says that is not going to happen, at least not in the foreseeable future. Her pathology is so severe, her lies so ingrained that I think it would take years of therapy before she would be willing to accept her shame. She has been running from the guilt of her own actions for so long that I doubt this will be resolved without professional help.
For my part, I will continue to pray for her and to wish her well. I hope she can find peace in her life, but she will not be welcome in mine until she deals with her issues.
ps. A recommendation for those of you dealing with narcissistic family members ....
People of the Lie by Scott Peck
Why is is Always About You? by Sandy Hotchkiss
It's very comforting to know that you are not alone and YOU ARE NOT CRAZY!!!
Download The Exile iPad Pro PDF
3 years ago
2 comments:
don't you just feel like it's not worth all the effort because clearly these people have some screw loose? it's like why bother? why make an effort? because once this sitch is resolved, another one is bound arise sooner or later? that's how i feel about my MIL and SIL.
sorry we have the same type of inlaws!
lol...me too! And as a matter of fact...YES, I do feel like it's not worth it. At the very least I will always be watching my back around her...she seems to have been taking inventory of my flaws for years (and I do have a few :) and can throw in my face every instance where I made some goof. Funny how she has a complete memory loss when it comes to her own bad behavior.
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