This anonymous blog is going to be great for my home life. I can vent all my family crap and my dear sweet husband doesn't have to listen to it any more than is absolutely necessary...and since this one involves his side of the family (we'll get to mine later:) I get to be honest about my feelings without hurting his.
Since Feb. we have been dealing with his crazy-ass sister who (long story short) I annoyed/pissed off to the point of her exploding and attacking me with things from as far back as 7 years, calling me names, cursing at me, and eventually when I was weeping from the onslaught and begging her to tell me why she was so mad at me... hanging up on me. Since then, she has written several vicious emails outlining my flaws, including my mothering (ouch). My husband has called several times (and was too nice in my opinion....not that nice isn't a good thing but she takes nice and twists it around to imply that you agree with her....she seems to only understand mean and nasty...which we have tried desperately to NOT be) and I have emailed (she won't talk to me)....mostly just to say that we need to work this out, we need to get together and find out why she is so upset about things that happened so long ago....but she sees "no point in going thru the past again, no good will come of it".....HUH??? ... I'm in an episode of The Twilight Zone.
Anyhoo, this is one of the letters we got after I wrote and sent her a photo I was working on for her (part of the long story) as kind of a peace offering and to keep the lines of communication open....
For what it is worth, I am really sorry about all of this. I am sure it has been very painful for you as it has for me...
She sent this to us again last week as 'Proof' that she had apologized …..She was incredulous when we finally told her that we needed a break from her and she wanted to know why....why we couldn't just "move on"....??? I love when people leave you cut and bleeding on the floor and wonder why you can't just "get over it". I made a statement to the effect that though I had not asked for an apology I just wanted her to stop saying that she had, "apologized over and over" because it wasn't true.
Now for those who think I am being picky in what kind of apologies I will accept as genuine, let me first say that when we got this letter, both DH and I thought that it was a start (albeit a fairly lame one)... it was by far the kindest thing she had said to me in months and I took it as the beginning of a softening in her attitude toward me. She seemed somewhat contrite. Tho it ends with poor pitiful me, it does seem to express some kind of remorse and at that point we were hanging onto whatever little morsel of hope we could find. BUT (and it’s a big but here) the very next day… not 24 hours later, before we even had a chance to formulate a response….she wrote us the most scathing attack letter to date (and it came on Steve’s birthday). What happened in that space of time to make her go from a teeny bit conciliatory to outright hostility? At this point I’m watching the Judy Miller show (Gilda Radnor, SNL ...spastic, ADHD, talking to herself and responding to her own rantings) I'm thinking that she's re-read the nice letter and decided it sounded wimpy. So when she holds this up as evidence of her "many apologies” ...I find it a bit disingenuous….she was obviously just reloading the canons.
“ I’m really sorry about all this” ….MY sister made that very same statement to me (and she loves me) because she saw the pain I was in…..it’s not an admission of any kind of responsibility, it’s what you say to commiserate with fellow victims.
“I am sure IT has been very painful for you” ???????
IT has been painful…. ….I wasn’t in a car accident, SHE caused the pain and she’s talking about IT as if it was some sort of entity.
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